We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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