Only a mothe r could love this liver
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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