He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize