I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
