My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You dont lie about slip and slides
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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