Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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