Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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