i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
