eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize