In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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