ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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