And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
