Swine flu. Run for my life!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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