bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
