You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
