My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
