Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
