so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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