pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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