she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
