Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
