You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize