Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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