Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
