And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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