Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize