After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
