This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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