did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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