the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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