I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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