Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
