Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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