Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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