If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
