Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
