Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
