She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
