note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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