Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
