I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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