you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
