At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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