My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
