the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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