Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
