Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
