Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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