Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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