thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
