just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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