I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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