You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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