She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
