zippers are such a cool invention
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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