you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am available for nakedness
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
