Where is the hickey?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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