Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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