I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize